Learning the definition of unrequited;

Step 1:

Wash your hair;

Stand in the shower and turn the water as hot as your skin will take;

Pause.

Stay until the water is cold.

 

Step 2:

Accidently let your hand brush theirs.

Count the seconds until you have your first intrusive thought.

Count the seconds until you have your second.

Third.

Fourth.

Don’t touch reality until your next shower.

 

Step 3:

Stretch your skin until it’s tight.

Make a rattle with your bones.

Dance.

You don’t ask mānitowak for much but maybe you will for this.

The smoke from these late night cigarettes is an offering.

 

Step 4:

Maybe lonely is apologizing.

 

Step 5:

Understand the irony of chasing moniyāw nāpewak

Laugh until your lungs are empty.

 

Step 6:

Kiyam

Pawata

But do so loudly.

Is this ceremony?

 

Step 7:

Continuously look for hope in dilated pupils,

Get lost.

Follow the North Star home.

Find the wrong constellation on purpose.

 

Step 8:

Maybe you missed the lesson

About the impossibility of

Loving someone until they love you the way you want them to.

 

Step 9:

Mourn.

Grieve.

Make friends with the cīpay that find you at night.

 

Step 10:

Gather pine boughs

And goose down

You’ve made your bed.

 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. djb333 says:

    Intimate and real, even the parts I don’t understand speak to me somehow. I know this stuff is hard to do, keep putting it out there as best you can. Thank you.

  2. This really resonated with me. Thanks for posting!

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