every sunday
i read your horoscope
and then mine
and it’s not written in the stars
that they will even match up
inside my stomach
there is a birch bark box
inside a birch bark box
inside
i keep thinking that maybe
if i continue reading about
moons and suns
and venus in capricorn
that means this time
i will be one of the lucky ones
a birch bark box
that holds a list
of all the places
i want to
escape to
i keep telling people
that i’m a cancer rising
and gemini moon
because talking about astrology
is an easier way
to pretend you’re opening up
to a stranger
i spent three hours yesterday
pricing out
how much it would cost
to move to halifax
i don’t really believe
that these stars are guiding
my life
i don’t want to move to halifax
i can just never tell
how long is too long
or if
i’ve overstayed my welcome
but i’ve been relying
on constellations
to guide me home
since i was old enough
to find the north star
i guess being a visitor
is what you get used to
when you haven’t had the
chance to visit where your
bones call their own
in the city there are
few places that
the stars can shine through
the light pollution
i’m getting sick
of defining
what home means
to me
in my backyard
i get to look
at the same stars
that i’ve been looking at
since i was a toddler
that my ancestors
looked at
before
i was even
a whisper
to the wind
these are the same stars
that i have asked
to help me be tender
even though
they are the same stars
i’ve sat under
and whispered to
when being tender
didn’t work
we have different names
in our language
for the constellations
which is neither here
nor there
when they
never answer your
questions
i sit
and watch
the moon
and the big dipper
change their positions
in the sky
watching summer
melt to fall
melt to spring
melt back to summer
always pining for
the next season
never at ease
in the discomfort
of transitions
every sunday
i read your horoscope
then i read mine
knowing fully well that
it doesn’t matter
because i have stories
hidden in my ribs
that are older
than this astrology
that i
keep applying
undeserved meaning to
maybe i owe it
to you
& to ocēkatāhk
& to myself
to learn how to talk
to more
than the stars
about how
to open myself up.
niio