pâhpowin

i wonder if it’s disrespectful to be depressed on someone else’s territory cree cackles are the melody to halfbreed sadness can this land hold us wholly i keep writing to create a different world but i don’t know if you can create worlds using this language that is punctuated with its history of forced syntax…

mitêh

there’s a cheyenne saying that reads: “a nation is not conquered until the hearts of its women are on the ground.” i think sometime ago my ancestor, she buried her heart in the soil.   she buried her generations of love and her generations of anger in northern prairie earth letting the roots rend her…

learning to ride a bike

  today i started to learn how to ride a bike i hate it so much that i google if bikes are a form of colonization i’m waiting for summer to melt to fall we’re all hoping to make it to the next season unscathed i managed to fall into the bushes without even moving…

kīwāc

every sunday i read your horoscope and then mine and it’s not written in the stars that they will even match up inside my stomach there is a birch bark box inside a birch bark box inside i keep thinking that maybe if i continue reading about moons and suns and venus in capricorn that…

there’s no word for decolonial love in my language

maybe i’m an eternal optimist i have entangled my fingers in the hair of others searching for signs of life i have traced capillaries on the back of arms following them like trap lines in the dead of winter i’m sorry that my self realization had to happen on your back but your back was…

iskwew

my kokum used to tell me: “if you wear your shoes on the wrong feet a bear will eat you.” when i moved to the city my kokum cried because cities have never been kind to us and there are threats bigger than bears chasing a toddler with her left shoe on her right foot….

otāskanaw

1095 days is a long time but so is 500 years I feel like i’ve been carrying this longing under my skin since a muskrat dived beneath the flood to grab dirt in our language we say “you are loved by me” i am still a visitor to the words that exist in my body…

askīy

i have bent myself backwards trying to find a place for myself inside of being                         b e a u t i f u l i have broken fingers and snapped tendons trying to make myself smaller. hoping to get by unnoticed and noticed but when you have this much history buried under your skin you’re…

omisa

i came here with razorblades hidden under my tongue hidden between my legs hidden between my knuckles we were never taught how to be soft and tender or how to find ourselves by using another’s veins as a map i came here with med’cines that are older than time planted beneath my eyelids we were…

kīkīwin

when you’re in the bush look for dead spruce grey and leaning sideways that’s where the muskeg is i’m at renfrew waiting for the bus to bring me to the final witnessing event apparently i’m supposed to heal today muskeg will swallow a human whole moose have sunk to the bottom so i’m told so…

pākahamakew

you have to soak the elk hide overnight. i have a stack of half-finished love letters that i have written to my body that all begin and end with the same word i’m not sure if i’m apologizing to myself or to someone else. you have to work the hide to make it soft rub…

nitotem,

  i can narrow it down to the last minute we talked i could probably tell you – what constellation i was standing under as you told me about the last three years of your life that i wasn’t invited into but that’s ok. i don’t fault you for it. we worked hard to stretch…